ZDF: “heute-show” jokes about Rumpelstiltskin Putin: “The nerves are on edge!”

Oliver Welke takes himself in the "today's show" Putin to the chest.

Oliver Welke takes on Putin on the “Today Show”. screenshot zdf

Vladimir Putin had certainly imagined all this differently. At the moment, according to Oliver Welke’s “heute-show” (ZDF), he is frustrated above all by the “complete military disgrace”. That doesn’t make it easier for Ukraine. And in this country the “oil crisis” is coming to a head.

Jurgen Winzer

Yes, there are, the “individual moments that give courage”, as “Today Show” presenter Oliver Welke called it. The protest of the “incredibly brave” Marina Ovsjannikova, for example, who held up her protest sign on Russian TV. Or the journey of the heads of state Mateusz Morawiecki (Poland), Janez Janša (Slovenia) and Petr Fiala (Czech Republic), who traveled by train (Welke: “In the Ukraine trains still run during the war. With us, they are already canceled when three leaves are on the tracks.”) drove to Kyiv to visit President Volodymyr Zelenskyj.

Or Selenskyj’s speech in the German Bundestag. And, according to Welke, “the clear signal from the Germans: we stand by your side.” Then Welke added sarcastically: “Well, on your back, we’re still buying oil and gas from Russia, but only under protest.”

Putin, lateral thinker example of a real dictator

Meanwhile, the man who set Ukraine on fire is “completely isolated.” “Putin’s nerves are on edge,” said Welke, stating: “The intervals between his tantrums are getting shorter and shorter.” Like Rumpelstiltskin, the man lashes out in all directions, recently threatening Sweden and Finland with military consequences if they wanted to join NATO “at some point”. “Daddy Frustration,” says Welke, is probably angry because of “the total military disgrace” he’s currently experiencing in Ukraine. He terrorizes the Ukrainian population and harasses his own.

Welke saw this as a good lesson: “Yes, dear lateral thinkers, you are experiencing a real dictatorship. Here you can demonstrate with Lauterbach as Hitler, in Russia not even with an empty poster.”

Tank discount: “Lindner got the donation pants from the dry cleaner”

For Germany, the main task is to get out of its dependence on Russia’s gas and oil as quickly as possible. “The key is at the pump,” Welke modified an old football adage. He briefly wondered (like so many consumers) why fuel prices kept rising even though the price of crude oil on the stock exchanges was falling, and then turned to the “savior on the horizon”:

“Christian Lindner got his donation pants from the dry cleaners!”

Oliver Welke talks about the increased fuel prices.

Oliver Welke talks about the increased fuel prices.screenshot zdf

The Finance Minister wants to grant a “tank discount” of “30 to 40 cents” per liter. “Uiuiui,” said Welke, “and where does Christian want to get the money for it?” Because that will cost two billion euros – every month. Lindner said he wanted to stick to the debt brake. So how to pay? “We borrow the money from the future”, Lindner was quoted as saying. Getting into debt without calling it debt – Welke thought it was great.

“Release hemp!” Can cannabis contain the oil crisis?

In the discussion about how to curb oil consumption, even the 1970s idea of ​​”car-free Sundays” is brought up again. However, according to Welke, imports of Russian oil would only fall by 1.4 percent, even if every other Sunday were declared car-free.

Another measure would have greater oil-saving potential: a speed limit. “Speed ​​100 on the Autobahn would save eight percent of the oil from Russia.” How to get the citizens to approve the idea? “Release hemp. Legalize cannabis,” recommended Welke. Because stoned you have the impression that you are racing at the speed of light, but you automatically drive slower because your mind is also much more decelerated. Sounds like a sweet idea…

Car-free days, speed limit. Ideas that climate protectors would have been really happy about two years ago. Now they are at most by-products of another crisis. “No one really wants to know anything about the climate,” Welke wailed. And:

“These angry kids have to realize that: It’s always nice to have one crisis after the other.”

Loosening at the wrong time: “Why is Lauterbach doing this?”

Another crisis persists but is suddenly deemed less relevant: The government wants – “in the middle of the omicron wave!” – Relax the corona measures, for example abolish the general obligation to wear masks in public. Welke expressed his incomprehension: “Why? Why now, when the numbers are increasing dramatically again? Why is Lauterbach doing it?”

"Why is Lauterbach doing this?"not only Oliver Welke asks himself.

“Why is Lauterbach doing this?” Oliver Welke is certainly not the only one to ask himself.screenshot zdf

Especially since Karl, the Minister of Health, is still happy to give the grouch and pointed out that he sees estimates that the virus could disappear within a decade as (too) optimistic. Welke blamed the FDP:

“She has already prevented the vaccination requirement.”

The SPD and the Greens knew that “it is wrong to abolish the mask requirement”, but they bowed to the coalition partner. wilt: “How the hell do they, as the smallest party, manage to push through so much?” Here, too, Welke gave the answer: “Quite simply. Through permanent nerves.”

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